VFTROU 4 alphabet for lovers A-M

And now, just to see if you’re listening, I present a work in progress. A great thing about this frightening technology is that I’ll be able to update this entry at the click of a mouse; so, if you want, you can post suggestions and comments as we go along and we can run this together like Honey Badgers. Without further ado I present the answer to all romantic questions: The Alphabet For Lovers (A-M) Ahem. As a possible vehicle to your romantic education and awareness, I offer up a guide by alphabet, of all things. Of course you know that the basic ABC of love is Always Be Considerate; however, we are about to expand on that theme (hopefully together). Succinct will be the watchword that is, if I can achieve it; accentuating the positive and eliminating the negative. Perhaps we’ll get a book out of this and have it illustrated by Maira Kalman. Cheers. A. ATTRACTION: and you can take this as the Numero Uno Basic Axiom; if you want someone to be attracted TO YOU, you must be attractive TO THEM! Pretty simple idn’t it? Then comes ATTENTION: as with any endeavor the heart, the more attention you give; and I mean positive attention here, the more that person will be reassured of the validity of your AFFECTION. How you AFFECT them. ADVENTURE ADORATION AWARENESS B. BOUNDARIES: everybody’s got ‘em from ‘don’t interrupt when I’m reading’ to ‘when the bathroom door is closed it means that I want some privacy’ to ‘I don’t like it when you tickle me, mock me or touch me there’ to ‘that part of my life is not open to discussion’. You get my drift? No matter how intimate your relationships are, there are areas of privacy that need respected and that means not overstepping your boundaries. At the same time, it’s necessary to let your lover know that you also have places where no one should go… unless invited; you see, no one should in my opinion open the entire dam at one time; after COURTSHIP, after the floodgates of love have loosed that surge of alltogetherness, a little at a time comes the treasures that lie deeper in us, some tidbits of information that we don’t usually share on first dates, sleepovers and even going steady. Like this: I HATE the sound of a vacuum cleaner in the same room as me, I don’t like anyone sticking their fingers in my cooking and I don’t want to talk about the tattoo on my shoulder that is captioned ‘Mentirosa’. Also, do C. COURTESY, CONDIDERATION and CONCERN Consistency: Well how about that? Am I advocating ALRIGHT ALRIGHT!!!! Right about now someone is going to say “well what about MY personality? How about if the other person NEEDS to be subjected to my anger, angst and aggression? What if I like it a little rough? What if I can’t help losing my temper? Passion is not always polite, you’ve got to be cruel to be kind, right?” To that I say: “Kindness is NOT weakness; you can keep your violence and anger that you disguise as passion on the playing field where it belongs. If you want to be the pool bully, the sandbox tyrant, hockey enforcer, forward tackle and browbeater; observe how well that that works for you in your private life. Listen, WE ALL KNOW how hard the world is and what a struggle it is just to stay buoyant in our society; this DOES NOT mean that you have to bring your tough as nails attitude into your relationship with people that you should be cherishing and nurturing. This is a dictionary for lovers not for losers. It’s based on romance not on rudeness; and if it seems silly to you, your way of life, upbringing and/or role models… well… get your own dictionary.” D. Dancing: here’s a pretty concrete rule for you: couples who dance together-- stay together. Now, there ARE couples that don’t dance together that stay together and that itself may be all well and good. But dancing is better. And, I don’t know about you; but, I have yet to hear of a couple where one dances and the other does not that has a happy ending or a protracted ending, for that matter. Period. The same goes for Drinking, Dialog and Dependability. If half of the relationship has it and the other half doesn’t; how long do you think that they will put up with eachother? (Answer: only if and when there is something stronger to bind them, like sex; or in the old “for the good of the children” gambit which worked in the olden days, but I doubt there’s mileage in that except on sloth farms. E. Energy and Effort: I once knew a woman who, when she was younger (so she told me), had a boyfriend that would lay around the house all day strumming his guitar, smoking reefer and ignoring the cleaning products that she provided for him and their home. They slept on a mattress on the floor, she cooked for him and he let her. She worked as a waitress and would drive her old beat up car in to work in the morning leaving him lazing and pretty much, she would find him where she left him when she returned home. Dirty dishes and all. One day while driving to work, she was stopped at a light when a middle aged man in a Bentley pulled up beside her, turned to her and winked. Guess what happens when you don’t put energy (and effort) behind your relationship? True story. F. Faith, Fun and Fantasy: Having faith in a person to follow their natural inclinations as far as thoughts, speech and actions are the benchmark of any relationship; however, we trust that the person that you’re attracted to wouldn’t think harmful thoughts; speak ill of any noun (person, place, and thing) and would not be tempted to act in a counterproductive manner. That’s a lot to ask of anyone who is not from another planet or century; but, you do the best that you can. Ask your feline if they approve of your choices; ask your friends; ask your family and then make up your own mind. Do you want someone who makes fun of those less fortunate, who would willfully harm without reason or who would find humor in another being hurt, humiliated or harmed? Hopefully not. You want someone who is Fun and who can tell riddles and rhymes, is ready for adventures and who can make you laugh. Remember FUN is the best way of having a good time and if the person that you’re with doesn’t laugh with you (not AT YOU) then keep on looking; don’t mistake shallow and stupid for strong and silent. Questions here: should a person set a standard for a relationship and not settle for less? Is there a future in BTNs (better than nothings)? G. Gentleness Generosity Gratitude We’re all products of our environment , education and upbringing; add to that our inclinations, expectations and attitudes. We all need the comfort of someone who loves us; who appreciates us and who will put us before themselves willingly and without strain. Usually we have to have kissed many frogs before we realize that. H. Honesty Humility Hygiene Humor Hugs HORNY I. Integrity Intelligence Identity J. JOY (joi) n. 1. The emotion of great delight caused by something good or satisfying; keen pleasure. Cook it up, serve, share and enjoy. JUNGLE BOOGIE; yes indeed! K. Kindness L. Loyalty M. Music