Po
Boy Views
By
Phil
LaMancusa
Fire
and Rain
Or
Hell
and High Water
Ready to beat a dead horse? Yes? Well, you’re now in
hurricane season and you can either be prepared to go, stay or ignore it all
until all you have left, when/if one hits, is to assume the position and kiss
your assets goodbye. How do I know that we should talk about this? Consider me
a ‘been there, done that’ kind of guy that got caught in a whopper of a blow
(Katrina) for six days because I was virtually asleep at the wheel when it came
to storm preparedness; me, two other bipeds and seven critters that I became
responsible for.
A couple of things to note, first off: 1. The people that
predict the weather are no different than you and I; the only difference
between them and us is that they get paid
to get things wrong. Whatever
they say is not only up for debate, but subject to change from day to day; they
also get paid to keep us tuning back in for updates on the weather that they,
having every conceivable electro-whatsis at their disposal (Viper, Radar, Storm-Tracker,
Exact-cast and friggin’ spaghetti models for
Chrissakes) have no specific clue
as to what Mother Nature is actually going to do; BUT, that doesn’t mean that
you shouldn’t watch.
Second: Our blessed city has been flooding in mere
rainstorms in the past year; what is gonna happen if a real storm comes our way? If we get sustained rain, wind,
mini-tornadoes and quite possibly a hurricane (or even tropical depression)… we
are screwed.
So, what’re our options? We know that ‘Hurricane Season’
is going to be here, every year, for the foreseeable future, or, until New
Orleans sinks into the Gulf of Mexico (which IS in our foreseeable future);
what, given those guidelines, are my (your) contingency options? Move away from
the area; spend summers elsewhere or continue to stay and be prepared?
Remember, we will never know for sure when/if or what degree of nature’s wrath
is in store for us.
Just suppose, for the sake of debate, we take door number
three and decide to stay and be prepared for the worst and pray for the least;
how do we do that? Well, first we decide whether we take one of two other
options; be ready to stay through whatever is thrown at us, or be able to
evacuate when we’ve decided that it’s gonna be rougher than we can/ have
prepared for? How do we tell the difference between a game plan and a lame
plan?
Well, if you need to get ready to evacuate… you need to
be ready to evacuate; remember, when the big one blew, traffic was backed up in
hours that ranged into the double digits. Can your vehicle stand to stand in
heat for hours and hours? Do you have nourishment, bladder control and patience
to be on a roadway that’s moving so slow it’s lookin’ like a parking lot? The
following words are the suffix of the situation as voiced by folks who have
been there: “Contraflow my ass!” The view from those roaming TV helicopters of
the jam that everyone found themselves in is enough to make a sane person
decide to tough it out at home. And don’t think that services provided to get
you out (busses and such) will fare any better than your neighbors in their
SUV; when you’re stuck… you’re stuck, if you didn’t bring water, you’ll be
drinking your own saliva. My advice is that if you’ve a mind to get out of
Dodge, get out a week prior to any occurrence if possible; however, my
experience with that scenario is when WE evacuated for a storm that did not
come, it cost a couple of thousand dollars and loss of employment time.
So you’re staying?
I’m staying for a cat three or less; so, what would I do to get prepared?
First off, clean out the fridge of all non essentials (stuff that will spoil
before you can gobble them up; leave about three days of food in your freezer.
Next, for Criminy sakes, do not put off supply shopping until the last minute,
like, start shopping now! Batteries, flashlights, water, plastic garbage bags,
duct tape and have some idea what windows and/or doors you’ll need to cover
with hard stuff like plywood. It doesn’t hurt to be ready, remember it’s gonna
be the ‘season’ until November. Next, try to figure out what you would eat and
drink for three to five days, how you will take care of your hygiene needs and
facilities will become an issue (be prepared to be able to have water for
flushing, brushing and drinking)
Got pets? See to their needs better than you do yours;
that means being ready for feeding and any meds. Are your critters micro
chipped? Do you have a first aid kit.
None of this is rocket
surgery and most stuff you’ll use... eventually, so it doesn’t hurt to have
stuff like that on hand.
Consider a generator? Maybe if you’re really a
survivalist--get a boat? C’mon!
My biggest concern, after all that other stuff is taken care
of, is do I have enough adult beverages, can I keep them at a comfortable
temperature and do I have enough to read; remember, there was no TV or even
cell service during the last one (banks and post office will be closed).
The grand majority of us cannot afford to leave town for
the summer; heck, most of us are only a few paychecks from homelessness as it
stands and, dig this, your landlord is going to expect the rent and there is
will be no utility forgiveness (consider your water bill’s excess when we had
that pipe busting freeze last year).
So, want to beat a dead horse? Welcome to the season of
the witch.
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