Jazz Fest 2024 first weekend

 

Po Boy Views

By

Phil LaMancusa

Truckin’

Or

42

“’Cause every hand’s a winner; and every hand’s a loser, and the best that you can hope for is to die in your sleep” (The Gambler: Kenny Rogers)

        Now, lemme get this straight: you’re born, you live and you die; in the meantime, between the light and the darkness, you’re not given a bed of roses. From childhood, you are a dependent who is basically told what is good for them and how to behave; what to believe; how to think, speak and pray; you learn to use currency, cunning and charisma to get what you want and then, with your hormones at full throttle, you are thrust out on your own into the reality that you so hoped would be your salvation… and you’re met with the cold fact that life is unforgiving and unfair.

        Getting older, you learn (or don’t) how to manage your health and welfare; you’re also held responsible for your actions, finances and future; in short, it ain’t downhill coasting whoever you may be or wherever you are. It’s a headache and a pain in the ass. And then there’s The New Orleans Jazz and Heritage Festival (Jazz Fest).

        Life can be a bitch, karma can be a kick in the ass; you may get everything you deserve or nothing at all. You’ll get what you pay for and then you’ll pay for what you get. Finagle’s Law will dog you: ‘anything that can go wrong, will go wrong at the worst possible moment’ (or not). Clowns to the left of you; Jokers to the right and there you are stuck in the middle.

        There are simple but demoralizing afflictions like asthma, rashes, moles, hair loss, leaky bladders, blood pressure, cholesterol, migraines, weight gain or loss, coughs, colds and sore holes to contend with. Or the big devastating ones: cancer, diabetes, psoriasis, Parkinson’s, cystinosis, heart disease, cirrhosis and later on you can look forward to a cases of dementia and Alzheimer’s that can cut you down like sugar cane. AND, your body will be growing wisps of gray hair in the strangest of places; you’ll also start to fall apart and be rendered less active and weaker than you ever were or thought you would be. Period.  And then there’s Jazz Fest.

        Oh, while we’re at it; how about, financial setbacks; loss of friends and jobs, love, attraction, loneliness and heartache. You can choose your medicine -- do the best you can and find solace in sex, drugs and Rock ‘n Roll or booze and pills and powders. Everything from Acetylsalicylic to Lysergic Acid. Bring children into the world? Good luck.

        From Advil to Zoloft; you’ll see the commercials for dozens of afflictions with ‘Doctor Recommended’ cures that include side effects like lung disease, kidney infections, shortness of breath, diarrhea, pancreatitis -and sometimes the cure “can, in some cases, cause fatalities”. And then there’s Jazz Fest! (see where I’m goin’ with this?).

        Of course you do what you can. You stop smoking, limit excessive (if any) drinking, exercise regularly, adopt healthy diet practices, worship yoga,  God (or goddesses) and/or deities; none of that will save you (no matter how long you live) when it’s time for the final curtain to fall.

        Now, walk with me. C’mon, let’s take a break; if you’re not hooked on Jazz Fest thus far consider this, on April 25^th (which is a Thursday) locals like you or the one that you corral, can get in to Jazz Fest for fifty bucks, two tickets each is possible. Take the day off; call in well; arrive early and stay late. The half C note will get you in and if you leave you cannot get back in without paying again. Held hostage by a good time? You bet.

        You only need a towel (for multiple purposes), sunscreen and some walking around money for food. You can/should even leave your phone at home unless you use it to take photographs. Anything else is superfluous, unnecessary and a waste of energy to keep up with.

        You don’t need alcohol to have a great time there; don’t go looking to get laid and nobody you know wants to get a text from you saying “I’m having a blast sucker!” You will meet lots of wonderful folks out there who are just like you, looking to have a great day of music, food and tomfoolery.

        Don’t like crowds? Don’t get in them. You can skirt the field and see whoever is playing or who you want from different vantage points. Bathrooms bother you? Find the indoor ones and, for goodness sake, don’t wait ‘til your about to wet your pants before getting in line. Like the food? Stand in line like everyone else and talk to the person in front of you (or behind you): ask them where they’re from, who they saw or are coming to see; find out what they’ve eaten so far. And anticipating that you might still be hungrier or thirstier, go stand in another line. It’s fun!

        Fer Chrissake don’t go thinking that it’s friggin’ Woodstock or a drunkin’ throw down; remember it’s about the vibe and the safety, security and comfort away from the world and all of its challenges OUTSIDE the gate; you are free of encumbrances and responsibilities to anyone for this day. You can dance like no one is watching, because they’re not.

        You have absolutely nothing to lose by taking the day off and commiserating with likeminded folks; you’ll be free to sing off key, find Jesus, Jazz and joy and I actually would like to live there. The worst day that I’ve ever had at Jazz Fest is still better than the best day I’ve had anywhere else (and that’s saying something). Have one of your own.