Mardi Gras 2026

 

Po Boy Views

By

Phil LaMancusa

Rex

Or

Zulu

Slippin’, dodgin’, sneakin’, creepin’, hidin’ out down the street; see my life shakin’ with every who I meet. Refried confusion is makin’ itself clear…Dr. John: Right Place Wrong time

Hey you! Yes you! You better get ready for a busy busy February! I know, I know, you’ve been busier that a one-legged thug in an ass kickin’ contest since King Cakes came into season; however, we’re gonna start you off with a full moon on the first, just to wind you up and get you goin’.

Then, on the 2^nd we hit you with Groundhog Day, you know, when Punxsutawney Phil (“a thousand people freezing their butts off to Worship a Rodent Day” Bill Murray: Groundhog Day) predicts the end of winter (or not). Fantasize the movie is a documentary and you’re next.

Follow it up with certainly MY favorite holiday, February 7^th: National Fettuccini Alfredo Day! This is serious; in 1908 Alfredo di Lelio created (possibly) this dish for his pregnant wife Ines; they owned a restaurant (in Rome), his wife was nauseous, she couldn’t keep food down, it was a horror, it was torture, it was AWFUL! But Al’s a quick thinker, he goes into the kitchen and whips up some fresh pasta, butter, cheese (American-Italians added the cream) and wedded bliss returns. Guess what I’m having on the 7^th for breakfast, lunch and dinner (if she’ll let me)? BTW, they named the baby Amando.

Feb-nine of course: Superbowl! Place your bets, grab a barstool at the saloon that has the largest flat screen and be prepared to yell like a lunatic in an asylum! “Kill him!” “Did you see that?” “Nooooo!” Moan, groan, cheer, yell at the teevee, have another beer, and check your football pool numbers again (and again) you might win big bucks. Then go take a nap.

Calm the heck down because you got some big thinking to do; Valentine’s Day is on the 14^th it’s on a Saturday (did you make reservations? Flowers? A gift? A CARD?) Don’t tell me next month that because the day before (Friday the 13^th) messed with your mind and you… forgot(?). That special person you dissed will smile and tell you that it’s no big deal… and in their heart of hearts your image is strung up like a freshly shot-gunned bloody pheasant that has been feather-scorched, wire-brush-scrubbed, eviscerated and hung a week in a dark place to properly rot until partially decomposed, and then roasted over an open flame while people drink, laugh and point at you.

Those last days come up on the Mardi Gras weekend (13-17) when the rubber seriously meets the road (if you’ve built up your stamina and resistance); five days of parade delays, beads snatched from your grasp by some rug rat on Daddy’s shoulder, seriously jostled and possibly had your pocket picked. You’ve been reduced to begging for wampum from masked strangers who turn a blind eye; while some drunk in a clown suit spills their neon-colored drink on your new Duckfeet Jyilland lace-up derby shoes.

You plan on getting up early Mardi Gras Day to catch the Skull and Bone Gang (but you don’t). You want to see the Baby Dolls (but just barely catch them) and you’re out to see you some Indians (and indeedy you do).  You hop to Orleans Ave. where the crowds are back-to-back, belly-to-belly; you grab yourself a cool adult beverage from a sidewalk entrepreneur, smell those pig parts burnin’ on outdoor grills, catch a bit of the Zulu parade and head on down to the Quarters for The “Secret Society” of Saint Anne and an obligatory trip to the river to say a prayer for all the souls that won’t be making it this year.

Gung Hei Fat Choi brethren! Yo, Feb-17 is also Asian New Year! Go ahead with your bad Chinese self and say it loud! “Gung Hei Fat Choi!” And watch folks shy away from you; like Moses parting the Red Sea. Oh, it means Good Luck, Happy Future and Congratulations on Whatever Forever.

Don’t stop now; Feb-18: Ash Wednesday and also Elm Far Ollie Day. On this day in 1930 the first Bovine to fly in a plane (and be milked), Ollie the Guernsey, made enough history that at the National Mustard Museum in Wisconsin they celebrate with cheese and mustard and it don’t get much better than that. Oh, and it’s also National Drink Wine Day (I guess to go with that cheese and mustard).

Feb-20 is Calm The F**k Down day with a holiday called No Politics Day; that’s right no newspapers, Nightly News on TeeVee, Democracy Now or WDSU News at 5:00; figure it’s the Ignore Fox News AND Rachel Maddow Day. Take a break from the debacle.

Feb-23 is National Dog Biscuit Day where you spoil a pooch; as if you don’t spoil them every other day. Repeat after me: “who’s a Good Boy? Yes You! C’mere, That’s right, this biscuit’s for you! Ouch, Don’t Bite! Easy Big fella, have another biscuit… sit down… sit… sit.” Oh Hell, just give ‘em the treats already.  

Feb-26 National Chili Day, National Pistachio Day and more importantly National Letter to an Elder day all on the same day; so, here’s what to do: grab your nuts, paper, pen, stamped envelope and write (not type) a letter to an elder(or two); explain your thoughts, dreams, prayers and fears; tell them something that you’ve never told another person, open up, take pages and don’t edit! Send it off, lickety-split. And then go getcha a bowl of chili and a cheeseburger at the Clover Grill (and don’t tell me that you don’t know where that is). Cheers!