Dirty Words

Po Boy Views

By

Phil LaMancusa

Another S.O.B Story

Or

Dirty Words

            This article  is about the dirty words we use every day, we’ll start with Political Correctness--those dirty words---they bring up images of badly dressed, weird, tree hugging, pinko-liberal, vegetarian Hippie wannabe freaks that take great pleasure in telling the rest of the world what we’re doing wrong and shunning all who err. They think that the world would be so much better if everyone rejected their avarice tendencies and replaced them with logic, empathy, and focused attention contemplating our f**king behavior. End of story, case closed.

            The PC Armies want you to recognize where and how your food is raised as well as what we should and shouldn’t put in our bodies; they’re for recycling, precycling, bicycling, no animal testing of your girlfriend’s favorite make up products and comfortable shoes. They don’t like us littering, spitting on the sidewalk, feeding our pets food containing pork spleen, using plastic at all or driving anything but electric cars the size of Stuart Little. They just don’t get the need for assault weapons, trailer hitches, drive-thru daiquiri shops and sending the planet to hell in a hand basket. Go figure.

            Socialism, another dirty word, unless you’re talking about Social Security, then we’re okay. Social Democrats are the worst. They do things like preach tuition-less higher education, an elevated minimum wage, free health and legal services; heck, they’ll even change the brake lights on your car (free) while cooking you up a vegan burger to be served with fresh fruit and bottled health drinks. They tell me that ‘the one percent’ has more wealth than everyone else while paying zero taxes. Gee, I don’t know who these one percent guys are. Are they those politically connected fat cats that I read about with charges of corruption, immorality, mendacity and sexual predation being leveled against them?

            The Cosmopolitan Elite are worser. Described as a powerful upper class that lives in our country but their primary economic loyalty is to the global community; in other words, a portion of our already successful punks that would rather trade, manufacture, purchase and support other countries’ goods, services and labor over the good old U.S.A.’s; so that they may make, save and profit from that totally un-American activity. They consider themselves ’citizens of the world’ and chase profits regardless of where they might come from. Running shoes from Thailand, fresh garlic from China, pasta from Turkey, potato chips from Canada, and dish towels from Egypt. Car parts, hair extensions, cheap cell phones, umbrellas and neon colored condoms. We hold them accountable not only for job loss in this country but for dummying down our consumer taste, mentality and independence by supplying cheaper, over packaged and useless convenience products.

            And worser yet are Passionate Conservatives, Indifferent Economists, Militant Environmentalists, Free-wheeling Capitalists, Old School Southern Egalitarians, Political Comedians, Media Masturbators, Stifling Educators, Liberal-Nationalists and Boundary Building Rounders. They want you to follow them; they want you to join them; they want your vote.

            Sexuality. There’s another dirty word and you’ll get your helping of cosmic debris if you try an FYI in mixed company. You’ll come away with a Hetro-LGBTQ+ PTSD-OMG why didn’t I keep my mouth shut trauma migraine. He, she, they, gender neutral or gender bender; androgynous, amoral, asexual; you’re allowed to watch it happen, but you cannot touch or talk about it. Face it, soft porn and sex that sells surrounds us (a hundred different combinations of lurid distractions) and unless we turn a blind eye to its insinuences and innuendos we become the pervs at the peep show. Enough to make a bishop blush and that’s saying something that we’re not allowed to say anything about; stop looking at my ass, breasts, face, neck, tattoos and for god’s sake keep your filthy thoughts to yourself! Do not linger on the lingerie ads and don’t judge a creature of couture by their crotch; you don’t deserve a seat at that table.

            The ‘E’ word (Environment, Ecology, Energy): Man, talk about a buzz buster. There is not one recognizable sane person that can take that subject to its complete and utter conclusion without risking crucifixion and if you explore that dirty word in mixed company, you’ll see how close or far another person’s personal boundary is set. For example: if I say that the world’s problems (ALL of them), could be eliminated if we put the planet’s health first. Conflict, hunger, greed, pestilence, fires, floods, heartbreak and psoriasis…(ALL Gone!), would you think that I was the Messiah? If I told you that all you would have to do, to save the world, is to pause before taking ANY daily action and ask yourself: “is this good (or not) for the planet and its health”, woulds’t thou abidith unto me? Hell no, you’d have me committed!

We’re a selfish, spoiled, lazy, take the easiest-way-out lot; if gas is cheap enough, all those “E” concerns head for the dustbin.    

Race and religion and specific body parts expressed in colloquialisms: this is where the rubber meets the road. As an evolved, mature biped you have to keep an eye on your somewhat unnatural tendency to take things subjectively, i.e. with prejudice or bias. In other words, if someone through their ignorance or bliss offends you, your reaction shouldn’t be: “Why, that low life, inbred, imbecile, sugar-tit sucking, skeeter-peter, red-headed step-child, gone ass, kangaroo humping, Satan worshiping, carpet weaving, rag head, frog eating, jungle hamster; may his bastard children grow into cross dressing hermaphrodites with awful fashion sense”!

This is where you should bite your tongue and say to yourself “Whoa, that’s a little harsh”, I mean, ‘with awful fashion sense’? He’s just another Uber driver, right? Give him a break, he didn’t complain about that stupid tee shirt you’re wearing, did he? Check yourself before you wreck yourself; gargle with cleanser and never, ever use those awful, awful dirty words, ya wanker.